{"id":348703,"date":"2026-02-05T23:58:43","date_gmt":"2026-02-05T23:58:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/community.skin.club\/?p=348703"},"modified":"2026-02-06T16:14:01","modified_gmt":"2026-02-06T16:14:01","slug":"fallen-apex-retirement-esl-podcast-iem-krakow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/community.skin.club\/en\/news\/fallen-apex-retirement-esl-podcast-iem-krakow","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWhat Comes After CS?\u201d \u2014 FalleN and apEX Speak Honestly About Retirement"},"content":{"rendered":"

During IEM Krak\u00f3w, the conversation about life after the professional Counter-Strike scene took on a notably personal tone. In an ESL podcast, scene veterans Gabriel \u201cFalleN\u201d Toledo and Dan \u201capEX\u201d Madesclaire, joined by Peter \u201cdupreeh\u201d Rasmussen, Andrey \u201cB1ad3\u201d Gorodenskiy, and Chad \u201cSPUNJ\u201d Burchill, openly discussed the topic of retirement \u2014 without pathos, but with a clear sense of inner fatigue and doubt.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d as the central question<\/h3>\n

\"Image\"<\/p>\n

dupreeh, who has already gone through the transition away from active competition, clearly articulated the core issue many legends face after stepping away:<\/p>\n

You leave your player identity behind. I had dupreeh \u2014 and I had Peter. But when dupreeh disappears, only Peter remains. And then the question becomes: what else am I actually good at in life?<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

According to him, professional life in CS is so deeply intertwined with personal life that searching for meaning after the stage becomes a \u201cmillion-dollar question.\u201d He acknowledged that freedom after retirement is real, but it \u201ccomes at a cost,\u201d as it takes time to understand who you are without servers, tournaments, and trophies.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m grateful to now be able to be on the other side of the monitor, but I\u2019m still searching \u2014 what is my next chapter? Will I find something that gives me the same kind of joy? I don\u2019t think so \u2014 at least not in the same way.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n\n

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read more<\/p>\n

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apEX: the fear of losing adrenaline<\/h3>\n

\"Image\"<\/p>\n

apEX admitted that for him, retirement is not about fear of everyday life, but about losing emotion:<\/p>\n

The adrenaline\u2026 losing that. We\u2019ve traveled for so long, worked with people, put everything in to reach the point where you win trophies. That feeling \u2014 losing it is scary.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

The French IGL then directly asked FalleN whether life after CS scares him.<\/p>\n

FalleN: \u201cI was ready to let go \u2014 but the team was too good\u201d<\/h3>\n

\"Image\"<\/p>\n

The FURIA captain\u2019s response became the key moment of the discussion. FalleN admitted that he was genuinely preparing himself to retire, but the team\u2019s competitive level made him reconsider:<\/p>\n

I was honestly preparing to let it go. But the team was just too good. I thought: seriously? I\u2019ve played for eight years \u2014 and now I\u2019m just going to leave?<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

However, his main challenge is not competitive, but personal. FalleN emphasized that being a top-level player while not being from Europe means constantly living far from family:<\/p>\n

For me it\u2019s even harder because I\u2019m not from Europe. I have to stay here for long periods of time \u2014 away from my family and my wife. That takes a toll.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

He added that he has been with his wife for 15 years, and at some point, priorities change:<\/p>\n

I want to have kids, do other things. That\u2019s where a bit of fear comes from. But right now I\u2019m just enjoying it a little more \u2014 and then it\u2019ll be time to go. I know that. And I\u2019m at peace with it.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

Voices from the FURIA side<\/h3>\n

Following the podcast, the discussion also sparked reactions on social media. Raul \u201cRauEs\u201d Ribeiro<\/a>, a Brazilian CS broadcast analyst closely associated with the FURIA community, commented on the topic with light irony, suggesting that the simplest way to delay retirement talks is to keep winning.<\/p>\n

At the same time, he highlighted how exceptional FalleN\u2019s career path has been \u2014 spending years at the highest level while being based outside Europe, enduring constant travel, and making significant personal sacrifices to remain competitive on the world stage.<\/p>\n

Community reaction: \u201cthis was real\u201d<\/h3>\n

The honest part of the podcast quickly received a warm and emotional response from the community. In the comments, fans almost unanimously focused not on individual quotes, but on the chemistry between apEX and FalleN and the overall mood of the conversation \u2014 calm, human, and far removed from typical esports content.<\/p>\n

Many viewers wrote that the captains looked less like rivals and more like longtime friends:<\/p>\n

apEX and FalleN have incredible vibes \u2014 they look like childhood friends.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

Others recalled past moments of mutual respect between them, saying the conversation only reinforced that bond:<\/p>\n

The mutual respect they have for each other is something I truly admire.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

Some reactions were openly emotional. Fans admitted they didn\u2019t want the podcast to end, and that the idea of FalleN retiring hits hard:<\/p>\n

I love FalleN so much. I will cry when he retires.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

Others perfectly captured the atmosphere of the discussion:<\/p>\n

They all sounded like uncles at a family gathering, drinking some beers and talking about life.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

The community also highlighted SPUNJ\u2019s role as a moderator \u2014 or rather, his near absence toward the end:<\/p>\n

SPUNJ barely needed to do anything \u2014 the conversation just flowed.<\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n

The overall tone was clear: this was an honest, unfiltered conversation \u2014 not only about Counter-Strike, but about life after it.<\/p>\n\n

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read more<\/p>\n

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Feb 05<\/div>\n News<\/a> <\/div>\n <\/div>\n<\/div> <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Between the game and lif<\/h3>\n

Despite the candid talk about fatigue, adrenaline, and life beyond the server, apEX and FalleN are not speaking from the position of people who have already drawn a final line. Their reflections are an attempt to understand the moment they are currently in \u2014 caught between the desire for a \u201cnormal life\u201d and the still-strong need to compete, belong to a team, and find meaning in the game.<\/p>\n

The value of this conversation is not in timelines or trophies. It is about identity and inner balance \u2014 about how players who spent almost their entire adult lives at the top of Counter-Strike try to understand themselves beyond the role of a professional esports player. And about the cost of that path, especially when the summit is far from home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

During IEM Krak\u00f3w, the conversation about life after the professional Counter-Strike scene took on a notably personal tone. In an ESL podcast, scene veterans Gabriel \u201cFalleN\u201d Toledo and Dan \u201capEX\u201d Madesclaire, joined by Peter \u201cdupreeh\u201d Rasmussen, Andrey \u201cB1ad3\u201d Gorodenskiy, and Chad \u201cSPUNJ\u201d Burchill, openly discussed the topic of retirement \u2014 without pathos, but with a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":348704,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[474,1103,484,468,674],"class_list":["post-348703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-apex","tag-b1ad3","tag-dupreeh","tag-fallen","tag-iem-krakow-2026"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFalleN and apEX Open Up About Retirement at IEM Krak\u00f3w<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"FalleN and apEX reflect on retirement, identity, and life after CS during an honest ESL podcast at IEM 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